When we expect nothing

by Alison Woodhouse

The spider plant has a new baby. We slide the bolt on the bathroom door, like we’re not supposed to. We lift the pot from the top shelf and dip it under splashing water. Soil specks the sink making a mess like it’s playtime. They said we’re not to be trusted alone.

We’re okay.

We plug the bath and throw in handfuls of dead sea salts because floating is definitely the answer.

They said beware going under.

We’re okay.

Steam coats the mirror. It’s a rainforest in here and the knocking on the door that sounds like pounding, or could be shouting, is a small mammal disturbing the undergrowth. If we stay very quiet, it’ll go away.

It doesn’t go away.

Crouching between the toilet and the bath, our wet hands covering our ears, words skitter, splutter, stutter, scrabble and we’re down in rat’s alley.

They said the trick is to breathe. They said trust. They said still.

We’re okay.

We scrub our teeth, spit the blood, swill the sink and take our calcium. Elbow dip, careful like we were shown, we were always careful. Careful. Careful. Here we go baby. Slide down lower, into the hot salty tears, but never ever cry.

Now we’re two hearts pounding, echoes of fists demanding, we’re colliding, but it’s safe down here, safe and warm. So take a big breath for me, ready? Now hold, hold, let’s do it together, and one and two and three.

Maybe today’s the day we come up for air or maybe today we stop counting.

Stop.

They said stop. They said born. They said still. We said no.

Hey baby girl? Your daddy’s back with full blown lilies, drowning outside our locked door. The smell makes us sick but we’ll never say.

We’re okay.

About the Author

Alison Woodhouse is a writer, teacher and mentor based in the Southwest, currently in her 3rd year of a funded PhD in Creative Writing, exploring polyphony. In 2026, she was awarded a UKRI fellowship to conduct 3-month archival research into the writing process of contemporary authors, including Kazio Ishiguro and Rachel Cusk, at Texas University, Austin. Her short fiction has won a number of competitions, most recently Mslexia, and many other pieces have been placed or shortlisted and are widely published both in print and online. Her debut Novella in Flash, The House on the Corner, was published in 2020 by Ad Hoc Fiction and her flash fiction collection, Family Frames, was published in 2021 by V Press.